Okay ladies (and gentlemen), today's post is going to be kind of a heavy one. Did I hear a sigh? Bear with me. Usually I tend to shy away from discussing anything that isn't light in subject matter, but lately I've felt this gnawing sense of responsibility to address a topic that surrounds all of us. So, allow me to ask the question, "What is beautiful?"
I know, I know. I mean, I need to take my hair down for this one. It's about to get real.
First off let me say that maybe what I'll mention in this post is something you've heard 1,000 times before. Fantastic, then 1,001 times surely can't hurt! Also, let me add that I know my readers are mainly female, but I do have some who are male, so for those of you who feel this doesn't apply to you - please stick around because I promise you will find relevance in what I have to say.
Let's start this again - Beautiful. B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. (Did anyone else start reading that as BEA-utiful?) There are nine letters in this word but thousands upon thousands of women, young and old alike have spent so much energy trying to "become" the definition of this word. There's a problem with that, right? (Rhetorical question, because clearly if there wasn't a problem, I wouldn't be typing this!) The problem is the "But if" syndrome. Never heard of it? That's probably because I made it up. But take for example the pictures of the women below:
I am guilty of participating in the above mentioned "But if" especially when it comes to these two gorgeous ladies. I find myself saying "I have nice eyes, but if I had Katy Perry's body I'd love myself even more." Or, "I'm having a good hair day, but if I could just look like Christina Aguilera everything else would be perfect."
Does that ring a bell to any of you? Don't be ashamed if it does, because it's a natural thing to look at celebrities (or even your friends) and think "But if..." and justify the things you think are wrong with you. Let me drop a bomb here though - these women, despite their success and obvious outer beauty - feel the same way about themselves. What? Yeah, really. I don't even know them and can tell you this because that's the way we, as women, are programmed. That's how society teaches us to think about our bodies, our hair, our lips - you get it.
I'm not going to try to preach to you about how you should love yourself, because we've all been told that and we all know it's so much easier said than done. Instead I want to share with you this realization I had yesterday while driving in my car. Sometimes when I'm by myself I just start talking and somehow end up with some coherent thoughts coming out of my mouth. This time, I said "Love should be unconditional. I love you because, never I love you despite." Pretty deep for a car ride, I know. But this applies to more than just romantic relationships. Your body, the thing that holds your organs and bones, but also encases your emotions and memories, is something you should love unconditionally.
Let me use myself as an example again. I can look in the mirror and point out a few things I'm okay with about my body, but I usually find myself saying, "My butt is too big. My hands look manly. My nail beds suck." (Please tell me you got that reference). I say all of these things and then I "guess" I love myself. That's the despite part. I love myself despite my big butt and manly hands. What I should really be saying is that I love myself because I have a voluptuous behind because I can fill out fitted dresses. I love myself because my hands are big enough to carry all the things I need in usually one trip.
Along with that realization, I came across myself doodling at work the same quote over and over again.
This comes from Psalm 139:14. Maybe some of you don't share the same beliefs as I do, and that's fine, but this scripture I believe is tailored to a woman's heart. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderfully! That means you are made the way you are supposed to be. Not that you can't dye your hair, change your clothes, get tattooed, or whatever it is that makes you feel even better about yourself, but from the moment you were born, the moment you were created, you were wonderful. You are still wonderful, no conditions.
I know it's hard to keep this mindset every day, especially when you have days when you really don't even want to roll out of bed. But those are the days when it's most important for you to remember how incredible you, yes YOU, are. I hope I'm not coming off like some cheesy how-to book about loving yourself and feeling awesome, because believe me I'm nowhere near being able to give you life advice. And maybe we'll never answer the question of "What is beautiful?" but we have answered the question of who is beautiful. That would be you.
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